Muzak
Today, I had to call AT&T to get a home phone line. For the last three years, we decided that we didn’t need a home phone when both the Missus and I have cell phones. Why not make it easy on people and let them call the person they want rather than me having to take a billion messages from people who don’t really want to talk to me. However, at the Missus last doctor’s appointment with the obstetrician, he told her she can’t use her cell phone any longer because it will cause our baby to grow a second head or possibly a third arm.
So I placed an new order with AT&T. After filling out an order form online (btw, lest you think I am an idiot, I filled in all the spaces), I got an email today saying I screwed up and needed to give them more info. So I called AT&T. As anybody who has AT&T can attest, they have an entire area code worth of numbers to call to get to the right person, whom I have never actually talked to so I don’t if he or she actually exists.
After speaking to Vicki the Robot, I was put on hold.
The hold music? Yes, Muzak. As I listened to the first refrains, a few "questions" came to mind:
1. Who composes this crap? If I wrote lame muzak, I certainly wouldn’t publish the fact I did it to anybody I know. It is kind like tough-guy sports dudes who secretly read People magazine and know more about the Hollywood happenings than their wives. Or guys who were yell-leaders in high school and are too ashamed to admit it anybody.
2. What genius at AT&T decided that (a) this is good music to put on the hold line and (b) that it would be not be offensive to people? That question might be easy to answer. I suspect that they are trying to cut costs and recent studies show that if you make people listen to the muzak and put them on hold for 5 minutes that your call realization is 50 or 80 percent what it is if you put classical music on the hold line.
The bottom line: Muzak is offensive to everybody. Take notice AT&T, we hate it. Stop being cheap and get something better if you are going to put your customer’s on hold.